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I Speak Aspie


11/12/23


Quora asked:


Everyone knows most autistic people struggle with reading neurotypicals. So why do neurotypicals assume they can read autistic people? I'm autistic and have a lot of autistic friends and I've noticed a pattern of neurotypicals reading all of us wrong (thinking we're intentionally being rude, when we're just answering their questions, thinking we're anxious when we're bored, thinking we're “acting” when we're happy, thinking we're flirting when we're uncomfortable etc.)?

My reply:

That’s right, because the lack of intellectual and emotional empathy can go both ways. Neurotypicals “assume” they can read autistic people because they immediately try to read them using the system of social cues and nonverbal communication developed for and by the Neurotypical society. It would be like travelling to Japan as a Gaijin and thinking the Japanese rude when they avoid making eye contact with you. How does a non-Japanese attempt to “read” a Japanese when both are ignorant of their respective cultural differences? Yes, I very much mean to suggest that Neurodivergence and the Autism spectrum has many years become a culture in its own right. 


11/21/23



The Asperger/ASD brain finds itself in the 

12/22/23

Quora asked:

For those with Autism/Asperger diagnosis, how difficult is to socialize at family Christmas gatherings? Is this the kind of thing you instinctively avoid?

I've always loved Christmas, although I appreciate it differently at 44 than I did when I was 6. As an adult, I find I can usually cope better with Christmas family gatherings and all the associated expectations, so I no longer avoid them. I still find them mentally and physically draining to some extent, as any introvert would. Because I’ve grown up with Asperger’s Syndrome I enjoy a greater ability to perform socially. A big group of people is a lot of names to remember, and being in a room with holiday music and lot of people talking all at once creates auditory processing problems for me. My ability to mask this is a function of how much energy remains in my social batteries. Being in large groups of people makes me physically awkward. Standing with a drink in my hand while appearing casual is a challenge. The ability to feel the body-heat of those converged around me due to my hypersensitivity to temperature is a another distraction. 

12/26/23

Quora asked:

What are some ways for an aspie (Asperger's) adult male to break out of their shell and become more social without medication or therapy?

 Wanting to break out of your shell is a good sign. Breaking out of your shell takes effort, needless to say. But no amount of effort will be of any use if you do not have a genuine desire to socialize. You must have a genuine interest in other people It must not be something you are forcing yourself to do for the sake of others or the approval of neurotypical society, despite the discomfort and awkwardness it causes you. There has to be some reward component to the experience. In my personal life , I have found the victories I’ve won as a successful adult socializer are indeed therapeutic. They are leaning experiences, too. 


1/07/24

I have Asperger’s Syndrome, and it has given me a lifetime of challenges to identify and overcome. But my diagnosis has shaped me into the person I am today, and I like who I am. I like how strong my challenges have allowed me to become. I like how thoughtful and reflective and curious I am because Asperger’s Syndrome is a part of my life. I'm a quiet person, and I enjoy being a quiet person. I have things to struggle against, fairly unique things, and a personal worldview informed by those things. 

01/28/24

Testing for Asperger’s Syndrome (everydayhealth.com)


02/01/24

Quora asked:

What are the reasons behind autistic people not wanting to meet other autistic people?

In my case, it’s because they aren’t what you hoped they would be— fast friends, kindred spirits, people who understand you. Full disclosure, I am on the high end of the spectrum as far as most other ASD people I have met. And even those in community at my level of functioning were people whose company I didn’t care for all that much. And there is no one to blame …



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